Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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