Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just tell him i said nine months
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
