u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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