I am puke
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Still dying that you shit outside
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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