I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
