Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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