even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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