I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
