that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
