I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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