I will die if light touches me.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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