Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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