I cockslap morals
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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