I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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