you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
