Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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