Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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