He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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