If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
