Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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