I love black thongs
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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