Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
