ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
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ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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