You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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