he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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