just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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