Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
