I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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