I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
