I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
