have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
