with your own penis?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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