I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This baby is an asshole
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
