I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize