what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
