I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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