im six kinds of drunk right now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
