sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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