Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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