Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
