your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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