First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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