So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You've changed since you got that strap on
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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