fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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