The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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