Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize