i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
