Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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