Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He felt like a one man threesome
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
