We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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