he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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