I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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