Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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