and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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