So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
