Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
