just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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