I'm lost and stupid without you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
