I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
